so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
