He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize