I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
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Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
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Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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