In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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