Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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