I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
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It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
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I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize