He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
