Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
