Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
