it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
