she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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