All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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