dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
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I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
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I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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