I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
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we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
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Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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