I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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