Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
