I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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