just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize