what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
