This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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