Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We talked him into tasing himself.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
