Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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