Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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