please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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