I think I died a long time ago.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
