Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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