you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
