He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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