just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
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It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
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I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize