4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize