There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
