why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
