READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
