My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
