party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
