when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
