yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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