I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
