then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
