I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
