Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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