I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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