If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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