Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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