shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
can u get pink eye on your cock?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just invented taco cereal.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
