S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
