Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
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i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
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It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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