The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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