He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
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When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
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Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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