There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He passed out mid-signature
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
