Kiss
Puke
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
