I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
