this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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