so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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