I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
