I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We are two peas in an std pod
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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